Again, it is difficult for me to tell you what to do on your own personal social media, but for those who are just looking to get started, I can offer a few more pointers.

No racism, misogyny, and gatekeeping#

Just don’t. Not even ironic jokes. Your Tweets WILL be screenshotted and taken out of context, and you WILL lose jobs and friends. Tread extremely carefully here. You can delete Tweets you shouldn’t have tweeted, but you cannot unsay things you should not have said. People remember.

Don’t be a “reply guy”#

A reply guy is a term for someone who frequently comments on Tweets in an annoying, condescending, forward or otherwise unsolicited manner, often making the conversation about themselves. It doesn’t have to be gender-specific, of course, but it is so overwhelmingly done by men to women that the name stuck.

Don't be a "reply guy"

Some women react by making generalizations of all men, which only drives reply guys further. Do not engage, do not mansplain, do not defend. Assume they know it is a generalization, don’t make it worse. You aren’t going to enlighten anyone with your heroic reply. If you are concerned about unintentionally coming off as a reply guy, you can see this thread on the Nine Types of Reply Guy to fast-forward your social calibration.

Don’t ask to use your favorite framework#

One annoying variant is when someone posts work using a particular framework, and you ask why they don’t use your favorite framework. Just don’t. Instead, do the work of translating it to your framework, and they will happily send people your way when they ask (they always ask).

Don’t share secrets#

You will gain access to more and more privileged information as you grow in your career and network. This is beneficial to you, but nobody’s going to tell you anything if you just blab it out to show how cool you are. Of course, telling company secrets is a fireable offense.

Don’t police others’ Twitter behavior#

They have a right to use Twitter differently from you. If you find yourself getting upset over a like, retweet, follow or unfollow, you may be getting too caught up in the Twitter drama. We tend to judge ourselves based on our intentions but judge others based on their action. Because Twitter is a cold medium, we even judge inaction, despite clearly knowing that there are more important things in life than Twitter.

Respect people's right to disagree

Imagine explaining why you’re upset to a friend who doesn’t use Twitter. If all you get is bemused sympathy, you may be starting to lose a grip on things that actually matter. Let it go. Respect people’s right to disagree. Of course, genuinely reprehensible behavior with deserved real-world consequence does happen on Twitter too. It’s a fine line to draw, and nobody does it well. Just remember that there is a line, and Twitter has no built-in mechanism to tell you when you’ve crossed it. Meta-outrage will happily consume your life and mental health if you let it.

📝 Note: Yes, it is ironic giving advice that you shouldn’t tell others how to use Twitter in a chapter meant to tell others how to use Twitter. Unfortunately, this rule is recursive – people who police others’ Twitter behavior don’t appreciate being told not to police others’ Twitter behavior. Therefore, I don’t. Feel free to ignore everything here – it’s your life, your rules.

Don’t use excessive hashtags#

Self-styled “SEO experts” might tell you to throw on a bunch of hashtags to “increase discoverability” or something. No serious Twitter user actually does that. We can smell corporate a mile away. Keep hashtags to a max of three in your bio and up to two in your tweets. Ironic usage is, of course, allowed. But be funny, or Poe’s law will strike.

You will figure out your own rules#

As you proceed, you will figure out your own rules for what you don’t do on Twitter. I personally use “dinner table rules.” I avoid discussing politics, religion, climate change, medical conditions, and other non-finance-or-dev-or-career-related topics (I make some exceptions for cat pictures and good music). I also refrain from unconstructive industry debates:

  • Should you deploy on Fridays?
  • Should you work nights and weekends to be successful?
  • Do degrees matter?
  • Should algorithms/data structures be part of interviews?
  • Should managers code?
  • Do 10x engineers exist?
  • What font is that? What theme is that? What toilet paper do you use?
  • Tabs vs. Spaces, vim vs. emacs?

For others, those topics are a key part of their identity, and they have as much right to discuss them as you do to ignore, unfollow, or mute.

Just remember that you have the right to free speech, but that right doesn’t shield you from criticism or consequences.

Dealing with Haters

Final Thoughts